


Forty-seven minutes

by julestales



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angry Sirius Black, Angst, Canon Compliant, Cruciatus Curse (Harry Potter), Death Eaters, Everybody does their best to survive and cope with the war, F/M, Fallout between the Marauders, First War with Voldemort, Forced intimacy between friends, Friendship/Love, Good Remus Lupin, Healing After Trauma, James Potter is the best, Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Missions Gone Wrong, POV Lily Evans Potter, Possibly Unrequited Love, Post-Hogwarts, So much angst, Trust, but love, so much love too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:40:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29918418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julestales/pseuds/julestales
Summary: An Order mission goes awfully wrong for Lily and Remus. Follow the forty-seven minutes that forever changed the Marauders and led to the tragic events of October 1981.100% Canon-compliant.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & James Potter & Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 8
Kudos: 10





	Forty-seven minutes

**Author's Note:**

> READ THE TAGS!
> 
> This story is not fluff, it's complex and sad even if there is beauty in it too. It's about survival, healing and complex feelings.  
> There are heavy non-con elements so you should really make sure you're in the right mental place if you choose to go further and read it.
> 
> It's 100% canon-compliant and will be told in three parts.
> 
> Big thanks to my beta, Astrangefan <3

MAY

Lily takes a deep breath of crisp air as her feet land in fat grass. She squeezes Remus’ forearm before letting go of him, and grins at the small smile playing on his lips as a gust of wind sends red hair flying over both of their faces. The night is dark in this insulated place and the wind whistles through the high trees on each side of the small cabin. 

The place looks old and decrepit and Lily wonders how Death Eaters ended up using it in the first place. 

A strong gust of bitter wind sends shivers down Lily’s spine and she takes another deep lungful of fresh forest air.

It feels so good to be outside. Finally.

Lily has spent the last ten months mostly shut up in her own house for safety reasons and no matter how much she loves her husband and her son, she is growing restless. After weeks of consistent begging, the Order finally assigned her a relatively risk-free mission where her abilities could be useful.

James had been so insistent in his attempts to convince her not to go that she eventually lost her temper and felt the need to remind him that being a mother didn’t suddenly make her impotent, that she could still be useful to the Order, and that he should shut up anyway because _he_ still went on the occasional mission. _He_ still left the house to be with the boys for full moons whereas _she_ was stuck at home and slowly going crazy. 

Lily _is_ infinitely grateful for what she has; an amazing and caring husband and a perfect son, wonderful friends and a love-filled life. But. She’s also a qualified witch fighting in a war. 

Giving birth to Harry in such a context was a terrifying experience and learning about the Prophecy shattered Lily and James’ entire world.

They’d do anything to protect Harry. Anything. But Lily needs to keep her sanity just as much as James does, and going outside, feeling useful to the Order, just this once, feels like a long needed breath of pure oxygen.

“Ready?” asks Remus, green eyes glancing at her.

Lily nods and they move towards the small cabin, their pace silent thanks to the long fat grass under their feet. The waxing moon above their heads is bright and Lily catches Remus glancing at it out of the corner of his eye.

She doesn’t say anything, she knows how the pull of the moon affects him, how scared he’ll always be of the glowing orb, instead, she lets her fingers gently brush his palm in a reassuring gesture.

She hears Remus’ shaky exhale before his breathing turns steadier. He gently squeezes her fingers back, gazing at her with deep green eyes before he does this thing he always does and looks away somewhat shyly. His eyes focus on the cabin instead and a determined look appears on his face.

It feels like Hogwarts all over again; patrolling with Remus, sometimes talking animatedly for hours and sometimes communicating only with side glances that are both so warm and so enigmatic that they render words irrelevant by comparison. 

Lily loves and trusts Remus with her life and she knows his presence tonight is the only reason that made James eventually--albeit still reluctantly--accept her decision to go on this mission. 

She watches as Remus silently raises his wand and utters a password. The door of the little cabin creaks open and her nostrils are instantly filled with the putrid smell of potions gone wrong.

Her stomach tightens at the smell and at the thought of what this place was used for, what it stands for. And although it has already been searched by Order members a few days ago, Lily would be lying if she said she wasn’t a bit nervous.

Still, she’s grateful to be able to do something for the Order for once, other than hide. 

Caradoc’s report stated that there were many phials of unidentifiable potions in there, and that’s where Lily comes in. It’s too dangerous to move unknown and possibly unstable potions from the place. Lily’s job is to identify and sort them, neutralise the ones that are too dangerous to carry or destroy, and vanish the rest. Even if the place looks abandoned, they can’t risk leaving it untouched. The less weapons the other side has, the better for the Order.

Remus is there for protection, and protection is Remus’ specialty. He’s also very skilled at Charms and there is a high possibility Lily will need help to secure the most dangerous potions they might find in there.

Remus checks his watch and, with a silent swish of his wand, casts his patronus. The silver wolf runs towards the woods, carrying a message for the Order. Sirius is on guard duty at headquarters tonight and Lily knows she couldn’t be working with a more trustworthy and efficient team. 

White flames appear in Remus’ palm and he moves forward, into the cabin. Lily’s wand is steady in her hand despite the nervousness she feels as she waits outside. She watches as Remus’ lips move, a slight frown on his face, as he concentrates and checks the place for hidden curses and traps. With a short nod from him, Lily takes a deep breath and enters the smelly cabin behind him.

The flames Remus has conjured are now floating above their heads and Lily lets out a low whistle as her eyes slowly peruse the cabin. The walls are lined with dark wooden shelves, which are filled with dusty phials. There must be over a hundred potions in there and even though she is used to spending hours hunched over a cauldron, the smell is almost overwhelming. Apart from the shelves, the only things in the room are two chairs and an old table, but the cabin is so tiny that the place looks cramped all the same.

Lily exchanges a glance with Remus and with a short nod from him, pulls up her sleeves and starts working, trying very hard not to think about the fact that Severus probably brewed many of these potions.

Remus keeps quiet as she works. Lily can feel his reassuring presence behind her, feel the soft power emanating from him as he makes sure she remains safe. Occasionally, he helps destroy some of the harmless potions Lily piles up on the table and twice she sees the bright light of his silver patronus leave the room to send another message to Sirius.

Almost half of the phials have been sorted (most of them destroyed) and Lily’s face is covered by a layer of sweat and dust when--through the fading light of Remus’ latest patronus--she sees something that truly catches her attention.

“Remus!” she gasps, ”Oh my God! You won’t believe what I’ve found!”

She hears the floor creak and a second later, Remus is right by her side, looking at the phial in her hand.

He looks up at her with a frown on his face and Lily grins, waiting for him to understand.

“Well?” she urges, barely containing her excitement.

“Lily, you know full well I’m not very useful when it comes to Potions, what is it?” he asks, eyebrows raised in confusion.

“ _Aconite_ , Remus!” she says, unable to suppress a huge smile any longer.

Remus’ eyes widen as he looks down at the dried plant in the phial. Lily has been desperate to get her hands on some of this incredibly expensive and rare plant ever since she learned about Remus’ lycanthropy. There are rumors that aconite can be used to help diminish the effect of the full moon. It’s hope in a phial, as far as Lily is concerned.

“You think it’s still usable?” asks Remus. His voice is soft and Lily can hear the carefully guarded hope in it.

She hugs him fiercely and hears the breath leaving his lungs as she squeezes his body too hard, carried away by her own excitement. Remus chuckles in her ear and hugs her back.

Her eyes are gleaming when she pulls away and there is a faint but happy smile tugging at his lips. Lily is about to tell him that she’s going to take the aconite home and have a proper look at it when three things happen very quickly.

A blinding light makes them jump apart; the aconite phial shatters to the floor and Remus shouts, the sound of his wand clattering to the floor echoing loudly in Lily's ear. Through the chaos, an immediate and terrifying thought penetrates her mind; _no more protection._

Her hands blindly search for her own wand in her pocket and for Remus’ body but before she can find either, ropes are slithering up and around her ankles and wrists, binding her so tightly that all the air leaves her lungs--unless it’s just her panic making it so hard for her to breathe. 

She collapses into the chair she used to reach the top shelves and the ropes immediately adjust to bind her to it.

At once, she thinks of Harry. 

She thinks of James, caring for their son at home, worrying as he waits for her return. 

Tears well up in her eyes before she can stop them and she calls for Remus, over and over again.

When the blinding light eventually fades, she discovers three tall masked figures standing amidst the dissipating fog and her worst fears are instantly confirmed.

_Death Eaters._

“Well, well, well! What have we got here?” asks the one in the middle.

Lily’s eyes search the room for Remus and she finds him on the floor, struggling against the ropes tightly binding him. His eyes are on her and there is panic in them before he blinks it away. Two of the Death Eaters have their wands pointed at his heart. 

Lily looks away and at the man slowly moving towards her.

“Pretty little thing, aren’t you?” he says, almost pleasantly.

Lily’s defensive instinct takes over immediately and she spits at the man’s masked face. He takes another step closer and laughs.

“And fiery! I like it!” he says, sounding deeply amused now.

One of his fingers moves towards her face and trails along her jawline, twisting around a lock of red hair that escaped from her ponytail. Lily bares her teeth and tries to move away from his touch.

“Don’t touch her!” comes Remus’ menacing growl.

The man elegantly spins on his feet to look at him.

“No? Why do you care? Are you her boyfriend or something?” he asks, jamming his feet hard into Remus’ ribs.

Lily can’t help but let out a whimper at the soft cry of pain escaping Remus as all the air is forced out of his lungs. She makes herself take a deep, slow breath, this isn’t the first time she’s in a tight spot and Remus is an accomplished fighter. She needs to keep her wits about her.

“Boys, do you recognize any of these fools?” asks the man, glancing at his fellow Death Eaters.

“She’s that blood traitor Potter’s girl,” says one of them, and Lily’s heart sinks in her chest. 

She knows the game is over once she gets recognized, Voldemort wants Harry. She’s a fool, she’s such a selfish fool for wanting to leave the safety of her house. 

_You’ll never see your son again._

“The Mudblood?” asks the first man, grimacing in distaste.

The other Death Eater nods and the first man takes his mask off to properly look at her. 

His face comes so close to Lily’s that she can feel his warm minty breath on her skin and see every wrinkles around his bright blue eyes. She doesn't recognize him. He looks like he’s in his forties and has short dark hair. A thin scar is running along his right cheek.

“I reckon you might be right, Mulciber,” he says slowly, blue eyes boring into Lily’s. “Tsk… such a shame,” he adds, shaking his head slowly.

Lily’s eyes widen. _Mulciber_. She went to school with him! He was one of the foulest of Severus’ friends.

“What about that other one?” asks the unmasked man, kicking Remus hard again.

Lily shouts but none one pays attention to her.

“That one is Lupin, another one of Potter’s little Gryffindor gang. Half-blood,” answers Mulciber disinterestedly. 

The un-masked man bites the inside of his cheek as he looks at Remus and then at Lily, as if he were appraising them and sorting through the options in his mind. The wait is torture to Lily. 

But even through her helplessness and panic, Lily realises she can’t let the fear overtake her, she _has_ to fight. For Remus. For _Harry_. For James. She has to fight until she can see them again, until they are all safe. 

The man seems to come to some sort of conclusion because suddenly he’s moving towards her and Lily stares into his eyes defiantly.

“Do you know what we do to Mudbloods, girl?” he asks softly, his pleasure in frightening her obvious on his face. “We torture them,” he says, blue eyes gleaming. “We kill them and then,” he continues very slowly, enunciating each word like a curse, “we wipe our shoes on what’s left of their bodies,” he finishes, an ugly grin on his face.

Lily tries not to show how scared she really is, she can’t afford to panic, she needs to _think_.

_Sirius_. 

Sirius is at headquarters and on guard duty tonight. They are supposed to send a patronus to him every hour to let him know they are safe.

Lily desperately tries to remember the last time she saw Remus cast his wolf tonight. Could it be almost an hour already? Is Sirius about to show up? She glances at Remus again and sees that he’s bending awkwardly, trying to look at his watch. They make eye contact and Lily nods imperceptibly, trying to communicate with him that she knows Sirius will be on his way, that they only have to survive until then; an hour at the most.

_An hour of interrogation and torture._

Dread fills her and Lily fights it back. An hour. She has to survive for an hour in order to see her son again. Bravery fills her at the thought of Harry and the certainty that she _will_ survive for him.

“But _you_ , are a lucky girl, Mudblood,” continues the unmasked man, looking down at her, “there are special orders concerning you.”

Lily looks up at the mysterious frown upon his face. Special orders? Is she to be delivered directly to Voldemort? In which case, time is the least of her worries; if the Death Eaters take them away, if they bring them elsewhere, Sirius won’t be able to find them.

“Oh, I see you’re wondering what’s going to happen, aren’t you?” he smiles, mirth in his eyes. “But I have to wonder… what did you do to become so special to the Dark Lord?” he asks, his frown back into place.

_Buy time, Lily. Buy yourself and Remus_ time.

Lily knows her lack of answer will most likely irritate the man further but she can’t let him know how panicked she feels, she needs him to be frustrated with her right now so he won’t carry out any plans of taking her elsewhere right away. 

“Well?” he insists, growing impatient.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she answers, forcing a sneer on her face.

The man lets out another loud laugh and starts pacing around her. The silence is almost unbearable, but in her head, Lily counts. 

_One… two... three... four... five... six…_

Each second brings them closer to rescue. She gets to sixteen before she feels warm fingers on the skin of her neck. 

She startles, unable to see the man standing behind her. The fingers trail slowly from the base of her skull down to the place between her shoulders. She tries not to shiver at his touch and focuses on Remus instead.

He’s pale and she can see his wrists are bleeding where he’s still trying to pull his hands free from the rope. The unknown Death Eater has his wand on him but Mulciber is looking straight at her.

“They’re useless Jugson, let’s just kill them and leave before the Order gets here,” he says impatiently.

The fingers pause on Lily’s skin.

“Nah… we’re not killing that one. Special orders,” repeats Jugson.

Then, quite abruptly, he turns away from her and moves towards Remus.

“ _You_ , on the other hand,” says Jugson, sneering down at Remus, “we can kill whenever we fucking want.” 

“No!” shouts Lily. “Don’t! Don’t kill him. Don’t!”

The man glances at her but Lily can’t look away from Remus. His eyes are pleading with her to keep her mouth shut, to keep their attention focused on _him_ , but Lily can’t have that, she has to protect him as she knows he’d do for her. 

“Not kill him?” repeats Jugson sweetly, “I don’t know about _that,_ Mudblood. But maybe, if you behave like a _very_ good girl, we can find some uses for him, have our little fun first,” he smiles, waggling his eyebrows at her.

Lily feels her lower lip tremble, she knows she’s shaking madly. 

“Oh… Is he your _friend_ , Mudblood?” Jugson says, a fake pout on his lips, “or is it more than that? Tsk, what would your Pure-blood husband say to that?” he asks, shaking his head mockingly. “Does Potter know you are the filthy Half-blood’s whore?”

“Shut the fuck up!” growls Remus.

“Oh, but you make it so easy,” laughs Jugson.

Lily watches as he slowly takes his cloak off and folds it neatly before putting it on the only available chair in the cabin. She knows they are going to be interrogated now, she knows it’s going to hurt but she has to endure it. She will _not_ betray the Order.

“Let’s have a little fun, shall we?” says Jugson, clapping his hands cheerfully. “ _You_ ,” he says, pointing his wand at Remus, “stand up.”

Remus’ legs are freed, ropes still binding his hands, and he immediately struggles to his feet, his eyes fierce as he glares dangerously at Jugson.

“You Half-bloods and blood traitors have it way too easy,” breathes Jugson, his face very close to Remus’. “You don’t care how filthy her blood is, do you?” he sneers. “Or is Potter a selfish blood traitor?” 

Remus keeps silent and stares back at Jugson defiantly.

“I bet you’d _love_ a piece of that arse too, wouldn't you?” winks Jugson.

In a flash, Remus is lunging at Jugson, his head colliding violently with the man’s skull. A yell of pain comes out of the Death Eater before Remus is thrown back to the floor, twitching horribly as Mulciber hits him with the Cruciatus curse.

Lily screams.

The sound of her voice mingles with Remus’ cries of agony and tears run freely down her face as she looks, desperately helpless, at her friend being tortured.

It lasts barely ten seconds but by the time Mulciber lifts up the curse, Remus is panting on the floor, and Lily’s lungs are on fire from screaming.

“You fucking shit!” growls Jugson, kicking Remus hard in the stomach, “you think this a game _you_ can play?” he says through gritted teeth. “I’ll show you how _I_ play, filthy Half-blood.” Jugson aims another hard kick at Remus’ stomach before straightening up and rearranging his collar.

Lily looks down at Remus, desperately needing to make eye contact with him. She realises he’s already looking at her and she almost sighs in relief when she sees how focused his eyes are, in spite of the torture he just endured. 

_Remus is strong._

“I know exactly what the two of you need,” says Jugson viciously, still sounding a bit breathless.

His eyes land on her and by the look in them alone, Lily knows things are going to take a terrifying turn for her. She chants Sirius’ name in her head, begging for him to arrive.

Jugson moves to stand right in front of her and bends, bringing his face level with hers.

“Your little friends aren’t going to show up for another…” he makes a show of looking at his watch and Lily’s heart skips a beat. “Ah, yes. _Forty-seven minutes_ ,” he enunciates very clearly to her face, his smile so large that Lily can see his molars.

#### Forty-seven minutes. 

_Forty-seven minutes._

This is way more than she had hoped it would be. She briefly reflects that the Death Eaters must have been watching them all night to be aware of their timing… Are they going to take them elsewhere before Sirius shows up? Or torture them and simply wait for Sirius?

Remus is looking straight at her and Lily has to blink her tears away several times before she can see him properly. There’s something in his eyes. Lily doesn’t know what it is but she trusts Remus and she knows there’s something their captors have overlooked, something that might help. It’s not much to go with, but right now, it’s _everything_.

“Oh, think of all the fun we’re going to have in forty-seven minutes,” says Jugson cheerfully. “Get me her wand and untie her,” he orders abruptly to the third Death Eater, the one Lily hasn’t heard talk yet.

The man moves to retrieve her wand from the floor and brings it back to Jugson before sending a silent spell at her. The ropes disappear and Lily takes a huge, shaky breath before she stands. She has no doubt what is coming is going to be bad but she’s grateful to be able to breathe properly again.

Jugson’s eyes are trained on her for a long moment before he speaks. The distressful silence stretches for so long that Lily feels cold dread fill her body. There’s a perverse look in the Death Eater’s bright blue eyes and Lily shivers, waiting. Jugson takes a step closer and licks his lips, his eyes gleaming.

“ _Strip_ , Mudblood,” he orders.

_No._

_Not that. Not that. No._

“Don’t you fucking dare touch her! DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!” yells Remus, fighting harder than ever against the ropes still binding his upper body, his wrists bleeding profusely on the mouldy wooden floor.

Jugson throws his head back as he laughs.

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of touching a filthy Mudblood like her,” he snorts before turning very serious again. “I said _strip_!” he repeats, looking at Lily menacingly.

“Fuck you!” she spits, wondering if she could be fast enough to get to his wand before getting cursed.

“Crucio!” sneers Jugson, aiming his wand straight at Remus.

“NO!” 

But Remus is already thrashing around and screaming in pain. Lily throws caution to the winds and launches herself at Jugson. Before she can reach him, her body hits some sort of invisible but solid barrier between them and she’s sent back to the ground, the back of her head hitting the floor hard.

She watches through her blurry vision, as Remus endures the Cruciatus for the second time, and in her desperation she grabs a couple of phials from the shelves behind her and throws them hard at Jugson’s face.

The phials shatter in mid-air when they meet the invisible barrier and spill to the floor, their putrid smell making Lily feel dizzier and nauseated.

“Remus!” she screams. “Leave him alone! REMUS!”

Tears are spilling hot and fat on her cheeks as Lily hurls herself against the invisible barrier, again and again, looking for a weak spot, trying to push it back with the sheer force of her body. 

It doesn’t budge.

“REMUS!” she screams, her throat burning.

The screams stop abruptly and Lily lets out a whimper as she watches Jugson lower his wand, his eyes trained on her.

“Are you going to strip, Mudblood, or are you going to watch me kill your friend?” he asks viciously.

Lily’s eyes close of their own accord as the truth slowly sinks in. She has no choice.

She tries to find bravery within herself; she needs to save her friend. She thinks of Harry, her beautiful son, of James, the man she loves so much, of Sirius, who _will_ be there soon.

“Don’t do it Lily!” croaks Remus from the floor before he’s hit with the Cruciatus again, sending him into another series of terrible screams.

“STOP IT!” yells Lily, “STOP! I’ll-I’ll do it!” she shouts, hearing how pleading her own voice sounds and ignoring Mulciber’s lewd chuckle.

Jugson lowers his wand and wipes sweat from his forehead.

“Well? I’m waiting, Mudblood,” he sneers, sounding anything but patient.

Lily doesn’t give herself another second to think before she starts undressing. She can’t let herself think about the reason why Jugson is making her strip else she might throw up. She’s got to take it one minute at a time.

How long has it been out of the forty-seven minutes? Surely it’s been at least ten minutes already? Definite things such as time are so hard to focus on when each second seems to last an hour. How much longer do they have to survive this? And _what_ will she have to do to survive?

Lily shivers as her cloak pools at her feet and soon she’s unfastening her trousers and stepping out of them. She doesn’t look at the Death Eaters as she takes her sweater and shirt over her head. And then she’s standing in the middle of the cabin in her underwear. 

The night is cold but Lily can’t feel the freezing air on her skin. She only feels a strange mixture of hot rage and numbing fear as she stands there.

“You’re not done yet,” chuckles Jugson and Lily sends him a look so full of hatred that he drops the mocking act at once and points his wand at Remus instead, raising an impatient eyebrow at her.

Lily swallows and her hands move to work at her back. Straps slide from her shoulders and she lets the fabric fall to the floor. 

She doesn’t look up as her shaky fingers slide under the side of her knickers and she tries to make it last longer, buying another few precious seconds, _another few seconds closer to rescue_ , and then she steps out of the last bit of fabric and stands upright, completely naked.

Her arms are crossed over her breasts but as soon as Lily glances at Jugson and the wand still pointing at Remus, she knows her modesty is a thing of the past and she lets her arms fall by the sides of her body.

Jugson smirks and lowers his wand slowly.

“Well, that’s better, that is,” he says, licking his lips. “I’ve got to admit, you don’t look half-bad, Mudblood,” he says in tones that turn Lily’s blood cold.

She looks at him defiantly, as if her nudity was nothing to her, as if he hadn’t just stripped her from her dignity.

“What do you think, Half-blood?” chuckles Jugson, glancing down at Remus.

Lily feels her cheek redden instantly. Somehow, standing naked in front of her captors is easier than baring her body to her long-time friend, to one of her husband’s best friends.

But Remus isn’t looking at her. His eyes are set on Jugson, watching him as if he were prey. In them Lily can see the wolf, and for the first time in her life, she discovers how frightening her friend really can be.

“Ah. You’ve got quite the temper, haven’t you,” says Jugson, looking momentarily unsettled by Remus’ feral stare. “But enough of me, it’s _her_ you should look at,” he adds, trying to sound amused rather than unhinged by the darkness growing in Remus’ eyes.

Remus snarls viciously and the Death Eater hurries to take a step back. A deep frown appears on his face as he aims his wand at Remus’ face.

“What are you?” he breathes, “what kind of creature…”

“A beast...” breathes the third Death Eater softly, and Lily can tell he’s mostly talking to himself.

It’s the first time Lily hears his voice tonight but somehow it sounds almost familiar. She’s surprised at how young he sounds, even younger than she is.

“Snape told me Potter had befriended a beast!” says Mulciber suddenly. “This must be the werewolf!”

Lily watches as Jugson’s eyebrows rise high on his forehead at the news before he lets out a low whistle.

“You Order fools are a right little freak show, aren’t you?” he chuckles darkly. “Oh, but this is even better!” he continues, a devious smile appearing on his face. “It’ll teach Potter a lesson,” he adds knowingly. “Marrying a Mudblood and allowing her to wander at night with a filthy werewolf… I can’t imagine. But perhaps Potter finally came to his senses and hoped the beast would rid him of the Mudblood for good...”

There’s disgust on Jugson’s face as he looks down at Remus.

“Last chance, Beast. _Look-at-her_!” he sneers viciously.

Remus’ feral stare doesn’t move away from his prey and Lily hears the screams before she sees the wand move and another Cruciatus hits her friend. This time, it lasts for so long that by the time the curse is lifted, Remus isn’t moving at all and Lily’s throat is raw from screaming along with him.

“Not so proud right now, are we?” pants Jugson, looking down at Remus with revulsion on his face. “If I’ve got to ask one more time, I’ll kill you,” he says, deadly cold.

Remus slowly stands and Lily knows she’s not the only one impressed that he’s still capable of it. His posture is rigid and defiant. There is a long silence as all eyes are trained on him.

After a few seconds, Jugson lets out an exasperated sigh and points his wand at Remus’ heart and Lily launches herself against the invisible barrier, screaming.

“Remus!” she calls, tears pouring down her face, “Remus, _please_ ! Look at me! _Just look at me,_ for God’s sake! Don’t you dare die for this!” she pleads, anger rising in her chest.

She feels all three Death Eaters eyes on her but she ignores them, her own focus on the profile of her stubborn friend. 

After an endless moment, Remus’ rigid stance falters. His bound hands are shaking in his back as his head slowly turns until his eyes are boring into hers, fierce and dark, resolutely unwavering from her face, and Lily almost sighs in relief.

“That’s better,” sighs Jugson.

Lily doesn’t spare him a single glance. She’s looking at Remus, trying to convey to him that they need more time, trying to reassure him that _this_ doesn’t matter, that he needs to stay alive. The invisible barrier suddenly disappears and Lily almost falls over as she stumbles across it and immediately rushes towards Remus. She cradles his face in her hands and whispers soothing words to him, worried by how pale he looks. His legs start to shake and she knows he’s only managing to stay up out of pure adrenaline.

“Alright, I think that’s enough, you lovebirds,” says Jugson merrily and Lily glares at him as he aims his wand at her. “Step back, Mudblood or your friend is going to have another taste of my Cruciatus,” he warns.

Lily obeys, but not before she’s confident Remus can stand on his own. His arms are still bound tightly behind his back.

“The Mudblood and the werewolf… this is fitting,” says Jugson. “But I think the beast is overdressed, don’t you?” he adds lightly, winking at Lily.

Lily gapes helplessly as Jugson vanishes all of Remus’ clothes with a flick of his wand. Remus automatically hunches over in modesty and Jugson aims a vicious slicing hex to his shoulder. Blood flies as Remus roars and arches back in pain.

“My, my…” says Jugson softly, looking at Remus’ bare torso. “I’ve never seen a beast like you naked before, this is extremely ugly you know?” he chuckles, his wand trailing along a particularly long scar running from Remus’ right shoulder to his left hip.

Lily wants to punch Jugson, to kill him with her own hands for daring to talk about Remus like that.

Her anger seems to be written all over her face because Jugson glances at her and smiles.

“You think the beast is pretty?” he asks, one eyebrow raised in question. “Then again, I shouldn't be surprised, coming from a Mudblood whore who seduced a blood-traitor,” he smirks. “Gotta have them all, don’t you? Even the ugly beast,” he finishes in a chuckle.

“He’s more of a man than you’ll ever be,” snarls Lily, burning with rage.

Jugson lets out an exaggerated sigh before clapping his hands playfully.

“Well, as much as I enjoy this little chit-chat with you, we’ve got to move on, time is of the essence tonight,” he winks. “Alright then, Mudblood,” he says as he grabs Lily’s waist and she struggles against the hands on her bare skin, “on your knees.”

Jugson grabs a fistful of her hair and brings her right in front of Remus and suddenly everything about their nudity makes horrifying sense. 

Lily can barely breathe from shock as Jugson's clear intentions penetrate her mind. Her eyes meet Remus’, and she can see her own shock and dread reflected in them.

This is… sick. 

It’s so sick Lily wants to throw up. 

She squirms and struggles against Jugson’s grip on her but he’s much stronger than she is and it feels like her hair is being pulled out of her skull as she is forced to her knees by brute force. 

She lets out a sob, her eyes trained on the floor. 

“Show us exactly how much of a _man_ the beast is, Mudblood,” Jugson breathes in her ear and Lily lets out another desperate sob.

“You fucking _monsters_!” growls Remus, “are you really enjoying this? YOU FUCKING SICK SHITS!”

The unknown masked Death Eater seems to shift uncomfortably on his feet but then Jugson’s wand is pointing at Remus’ throat.

“Quiet, Beast!” he warns dangerously. “Suck him, Mudblood or I’ll _make_ you,” he grits between his teeth, lips grazing the shell of Lily’s ear.

Lily wonders for a moment if she shouldn't just let him carry out with his threat. It might be easier if she’s not aware she’s doing it. 

_It might be easier._

She sees Remus’ bare feet shift on the floor as he tries to move away from her before Mulciber grabs his bound arms to hold him in place. 

He’s unsuccessful. 

Remus struggles so hard that he manages to escape from his hold. The back of his head collides hard with Mulciber’s masked face, making the Death Eater shout out in pain as blood flows from under his hood. 

“Fucking beast!” he shouts, sending a vicious slicing hex to Remus’ side. Another spell hits Remus almost immediately and he abruptly freezes on the spot.

“Aaaaaaaah! Fuuuuuck! I’ll kill you! I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!” he roars, rage flowing out of him as he realises he can’t move more than a few inches in any direction.

Lily wipes her tears away and slowly looks up at his face. 

They need _time_. 

Just a little longer. 

_Sirius will come._

_Everything will be okay._

This doesn’t matter, it _doesn’t_.

She sees the look of horror on Remus’ face when he understands what she’s about to do but she doesn’t avert her eyes. She needs him to understand.

“Lily, no!” he pleads, growing panicky, “Don’t listen to them! Don’t! CRUCIO ME! TORTURE ME! FUCKING KILL ME BUT LEAVE HER ALONE!” he roars.

“I’m so sorry Remus,” sobs Lily.

“No!” cries Remus, almost breathless in distress, “no, no, nooo…”

“Get on with it, Mudblood!” sneers Jugson, his wand pointing at her face threateningly. 

Lily has no doubt an Imperius curse is ready for her, right at the tip of his wand. Her hands are shaking as she looks down, at the most intimate part of her friend. 

She feels her cheeks redden and closes her eyes, trying--as ridiculous as it sounds right now--to preserve a fragment of Remus’ modesty. 

She moves a shaky hand towards his body and touches his soft cock gently. She hears Remus’ faint sob as her cold fingers touch his skin and she hates herself for forcing herself on him, but there’s no choice, not if they want to live. The only other option is to make Jugson force her to do it. Which won’t make it any easier on either of them. This way Lily can at least have some sort of control over what she’s doing and over the time running.

She half-heartedly tries to make Remus harden, with gentle and hesitant touches but he stays stubbornly limp in her hand and with every second, Lily knows they are buying more time.

“Alright. Enough,” says Jugson impatiently.

Lily looks up at him and her eyes widen when she sees that his wand is aiming straight at Remus’ lower-half. She has no time to utter any word of protest before a silent spell hits Remus’ groin. 

The effect is immediate and Lily’s heart sinks at Remus’ mortified cry. 

“That's better. Get on with it, Mudblood,” smirks Jugson.

Lily spares one last look for Remus, her eyes pleading with him to understand, to let this happen, to _wait_ , because Sirius probably is on his way, _he must be on his way_.

“It’s okay, Remus,” she whispers softly, blinking the tears out of her eyes. “It’s okay, it doesn’t matter, we’ll be fine, please don’t worry, we’ll be fine, I’m so sorry,” she repeats for both their benefits.

Remus’ face is white but after a few seconds his jaw unclenches and Lily watches the despair growing in his eyes as he finally lets go of the fight burning inside him and a sob escapes his throat.

Closing her eyes again, Lily sets to her task. 

Remus’ erection is warm and smooth under her palm and she feels him shiver as her fingers close around his flesh. Taking a shaky breath, she moves closer and gently eases his member between her lips. She hears Remus’ sharp intake of breath but chooses to ignore it. Lily is aware that this torture is much worse on him than it is on her because his body is programed to _enjoy_ this to some extent. She knows there’s only one way this is going to end and the least she can do is try to pretend not to notice the natural reactions Remus’ body is conditioned for. 

She sucks very lightly, feeling torn between her desperate desire to end this quickly and the need to make it last, to buy more _time_. Her tongue automatically swirls around Remus’ tip and he gasps, his body shaking. Placing both of her hands on his hips, Lily lets her thumbs gently circle his skin, trying to reassure him, to let him know he hasn’t done anything wrong, to let him know he needs to find a safe place in his mind to retreat to, somewhere he can just wait it out. 

His flesh is hot and throbbing under her tongue and the scent of him, of Remus, so strong and sharp in her mouth unexpectedly helps relax Lily’s nerves. Her eyes are closed, and she’s starting to zone out, finding _her_ safe place as she works on him gently, when she hears his first soft moan.

It’s followed by a shameful whimper almost immediately but Lily’s hands squeeze Remus’ hips gently, offering reassurance the only way she can right now. 

_It doesn’t matter, Remus, it doesn’t._

“Don’t hold back, Beast,” chuckles Jugson, “let her hear you!”

Lily closes her eyes more tightly and tries to tune out Jugson’s voice and return to her safe place. She can feel Remus’ precome on her tongue, the sharp taste of it coating her mouth and she swallows, taking Remus a bit deeper in the process. 

The second moan is louder than the first and Lily has a harder time ignoring it. She feels pulled out of her safe place and suddenly she can smell the putrid scent of rotten potions again, feel the coldness of the air on her bare skin, she can hear the unambiguous and repugnant rhythmic flutter of Mulciber’s cloak next to her, his loud breathing, and she desperately holds on to Remus’ hips, to the warm presence of his shaking body.

“How is the Mudblood doing, Beast?” pants Mulciber, voice charged thickly by his own depraved self-indulgence.

Remus ignores him and Lily is inwardly grateful.

“Answer him, Werewolf!” spits Jugson.

“Don’t call her a Mudblood,” is all Remus says and Lily shivers at the uncommon inconstancy of his voice.

She sucks a bit harder, knowing their time is probably running short before Jugson and his companions grow impatient again and even if she has no idea what they have in store for them after _this_ , she also knows Sirius will be there soon. 

_Soon, soon, soon._

Remus’ silence is broken again as a louder groan escapes him when she starts bobbing her head faster. 

And after that, there’s no more pretending she can’t hear him. She can tell he’s trying to hold back, trying to be silent, but Jugson threatens him again and before long, Remus is groaning low and his hips are moving minutely. 

Lily takes it. Remus is quite large and she knows he’s trying to keep very still and not choke her. 

She’s grateful.

But it’s not the rapid pace of her mouth sliding around his cock that undoes Remus. It’s the gentle, reassuring caress Lily places upon the soft skin of his thighs. He groans and jerks and immediately tries to move away from her, but before Lily can let him slide out of her mouth, Jugson’s strong grip is on her neck, forcing her mouth much further down Remus’ erection than she can handle. 

“Swallow the filth, Mudblood,” he says, his perverse pleasure heavy in his voice.

Lily’s cheeks are glistening with tears as she swallows the salty taste of Remus’ come down her throat.

The pressure in her neck disappears and she immediately lets go of Remus’ cock. She coughs several times and breathes a lungful of much-needed oxygen. Quickly wiping her mouth on her forearm, she rises to her feet and glares at Jugson.

“Bastard!” she spits.

Jugson only laughs at her.

Remus’ eyes are closed and she’s never seen him looking so pale, as if he might get sick any second. Lily glances at her captors, and when none of them seems to object she quickly hugs Remus tightly.

He recoils at her touch and Lily whimpers, hating to feel him pull away from her.

“Oh god Remus, I’m so sorry… We’re going to be fine. I’m _so_ sorry,” she cries in his ear.

It takes another few seconds for Remus to slowly lean into her embrace and then he immediately starts to sob. 

“I’m sorry,” he cries in her ear, “I’m so sorry, _please_ don’t hate me.”

Lily has never seen Remus cry, not even after his mother died. Nor when he almost lost everything after that awful prank in fifth year. Remus simply doesn’t cry.

The sound of his sorrow breaks her heart. 

She buries her face into his neck and hugs him harder, her lips brushing against the soft skin under his ear, “I could _never_ hate you Remus,” she whispers fiercely and then, much more quietly, “Sirius will be here soon, everything will be okay.”

“Isn't it touching?” chuckles Jugson as he grabs Lily and pulls her forcefully away from Remus. “You hear that, Beast? _She doesn’t hate you_ ,” he says in a mocking girly voice.

Remus’ eyes immediately darken again as they land on Jugson.

“You will die for this,” he says, deadly cold.

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t bet on that,” smirks Jugson. “And we aren’t quite done here --the Mudblood doesn’t hate you yet!” he adds, looking so sickeningly cheerful that a distressed sob instantly escapes Lily.

Remus tries to launch himself at Jugson again, no doubt to tear the man’s face off with his bared teeth, but the spell is still holding him trapped.

Jugson moves towards the other side of the room and Lily aches to attack him. But before she can move, Mulciber’s wand is pointing at the place between her eyes.

“Don’t think about it, _Mudblood_ ,” he warns.

Lily glares daggers at him. It seems almost impossible that she used to share classes with this heinous man.

“I wouldn’t believe it when I heard that Snape used to lust after you… But now, I guess I can sort of get the unhealthy appeal, Mudblood _whore_ ,” taunts Mulciber, leering at her breasts.

Lily closes her eyes and lets the slur slide. She’s very close to attacking Mulciber, never mind that she’s naked and wandless, and she has to take a deep shuddering breath as she tries to reign in her rage and not get herself killed.

A loud noise tears her out of her own furious thoughts and for a glorious second she thinks Sirius finally arrived, she thinks it’s all over. 

This miraculous hope crumbles as she turns around and watches Jugson pull the table to the center of the room, making its legs scrape the floor loudly.

“Alright. Let’s make sure the Mudblood _does_ hate you before we kill you, shall we?” he says to Remus in false sweet tones. “We’ve still got… _twenty-three_ minutes,” says Jugson brightly, glancing at his watch. “How delightful! Perhaps we shall continue?” he asks pleasantly, as if any of them have any choice in the matter.

Lily feels despair such as she has never known before creeping over her. 

#### Twenty-three minutes. 

Out of forty-seven. Still half the time left, how is that even possible? Twenty-three more minutes. 

_An eternity_. 

“Lie on the table, Mudblood,” orders Jugson.

Lily still finds it in herself to glare at him before she obeys. 

She’s painfully aware of Mulciber’s leering gaze on her naked and exposed body as she lies down on the uncomfortable table. She tries to take a calming breath but it’s no use, her heart is pounding in her chest.

Frankly, she knows what is coming even if Jugson hasn’t given the order yet.

Her eyes search for Remus’ and as she registers the devastated look in them, her heart shatters and she knows she’s not the only one painfully aware of what is going to happen now.

With a swift movement, Jugson’s wand slices the air and a silent spell hits Remus.

Her friend doubles over and moans as it hits him, but not in pain.

Eventually, Remus straightens and Lily barely recognizes her friend. The look he sends her is so full of despair that Lily instantly knows he’s got no fight left in him. 

_They’ve broken Remus._

They’ve broken her strong, smart, funny and wonderful friend.

Lily wants to scream, wants to rage, wants to burn the place to the ground and watch the light leave the three Death Eaters’ eyes. 

But her body doesn’t move. She feels paralysed by fear, distress and despair. Through the blur in her mind, she hears the soft _“Imperio”_ Jugson breathes at Remus.

The last ropes vanish from Remus’ body and he moves at once. Lily knows he can’t possibly fight the spell in his current state. 

She lets her tears pour out freely, since Remus is not really _there_.

She knows Jugson will lift the curse at some point just to torture Remus a bit more perversely and she’s got to let all of her tears out before that happens. She can’t allow herself to succumb to her panic and scream or try to struggle and push Remus away when that happens. 

She already knows Remus won’t forgive himself for what is about to happen. Struggling would be useless and only make it worse on both of them.

With a simple order from Jugson, Remus climbs on top of her, his body heavy and muscular. Fresh blood is still running down his arms from his injured wrists and from his side where the slicing hex hit him.

Lily hears Jugson’s perverse pleasure as his next command echoes loudly through the cabin.

“Fuck the Mudblood.”

She can’t help but let out a whimper as Remus abruptly slides his knee between her legs, none of her caring and protective friend’s inhibitions or gentleness left. In this moment Lily wonders which option truly is the worst; a conscious Remus who would rather kill himself than rape her? Or this blunt and slightly brutal version of her beloved friend, currently staring at her with blank eyes as he unceremoniously spreads her legs open.

She feels his hard length probe at her entrance and Lily braces herself.

As expected, the next spell that hits Remus wakes him from his imperiused stupor. He blinks down at her several times, registering exactly what is happening.

“ _No_. NO!” he gasps, tears instantly leaking out from the corner of his eyes as he struggles and fails to move away from her body, falling back heavily on her, another anchoring spell holding him in place.

Lily thinks she might suffocate from his weight as Remus struggles, his naked skin so warm that it feels feverish as it slides against hers. His anguish is contagious and Lily tries to breathe, tries to fight her panic back. Because in spite of everything, staring into Remus’ green eyes instead of the blank ones of the tool he was seconds before _is_ a relief.

“Shhh, it’s okay Remus, it’s just me, you’ve got to calm down,” she tries to soothe him, injecting as much bravery into her breathless voice that she can. “ _Listen to me_ , we’ve made it this far, we can survive this too, _we can_ , just a few more minutes, Remus!” she pleads, furiously blinking back tears.

Remus stops struggling and his eyes seem to focus on her words. Something passes through them. Something that seems to bring some sort of flash of life back into his eyes. Lily clings to this flicker of hope as if it were a lifeline as Remus hovers on top of her, immobile.

“Are you going to fuck her, or should I _Imperius_ you again and make you ravage her until she bleeds?” asks Jugson impatiently.

Lily feels panic fill her chest at the Death Eater’s words.

“Please, Remus, _please,_ do it. Do it now, _do it_ ! Do it, please,” she says urgently. “Stay with me, stay with me, we’re going to be fine but please, _please_ stay with me, don’t leave me alone,” she begs, the last words coming out as a sob.

She watches as revulsion contorts Remus’ face as he tries to subdue his self-loathing, something he was never any good at. But after a few seconds, the reality of their situation and her words seem to finally register with him and he slowly nods before placing an incredibly soft kiss to her forehead. 

And then he’s moving.

Lily gasps at the intrusion. No matter how gentle Remus is being, she’s not physically ready for this, nor is she used to his considerable size and it takes her a few seconds to adjust. Her fingers clench hard around his biceps as he slowly, incredibly slowly sinks into her, uttering the same words over and over in her ear: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry _._ ”

“Tell you what, Werewolf,” says Jugson, sounding very far, far away to Lily’s ears, “if you make her come before our time is over, I’ll spare your life.”

Remus’ eyes close at the offer. Now that he’s buried inside her, he’s keeping completely still and Lily buries her face into his neck as a weak whimper escapes her.

She wants Sirius to rescue them from this hell. She wants to hug Harry and pepper his face with kisses. She wants to get lost into James’ warm and comforting arms again. 

_James_. 

Oh God, James...

Her heart _aches_ for James, for the love of her life, for the only man that has ever known her so intimately. And suddenly Lily can’t hold back her tears anymore as she feels every inch of Remus’ body on top and inside of her and she realises what is being taken away from her.

She hides her silent tears in his neck until she’s certain she isn’t going to start struggling against him and scream for James while Remus is being cursed to rape her savagely.

The last residue of their sanities, this pure will to _survive_ , is the only thing separating them from madness and death right now and the balance is extremely fragile. Lily can feel her own will slipping through her fingers, second after second. 

Her mind enters a blissfully empty space where her body is free, safe and warm, where all she can hear is the soft sound of a summer breeze in leaves, where all she can smell is the fabulous and unique warm milk-bread scent of Harry’s hair, and then it is James she sees smiling at her, all hazel eyes and messy hair.

_No. Survive. You have to survive._

Lily opens her eyes and tears herself away from her heaven. 

She fights her way back to the present, the truth of all her senses crashing back into her;

Remus’ hardness inside her, his sweaty naked skin against her own, the jeers of their audience, the putrid scent of potions… and those caring green eyes looking down at her with infinite guilt and sorrow in them.

Remus is moving incredibly slowly and carefully inside her. 

A necessary show for their audience. 

He’s trying his best to make it less awful for her and despite everything, Lily’s affection for him only grows. But this “show” isn’t going to save his own life. She can’t let Remus do that. She can’t flee her own body and let him sacrifice himself for her as she knows he’d do without a second thought. She has to at least try and save him! 

Lily takes a deep breath.

“Remus, look at me,” she whispers, feeling some new kind of bravery rise inside her. “I want you to _live_ ,” she tells him softly.

Remus looks away, eyes red-rimmed and cheeks covered in tear tracks.

“ _Look at me_ ,” she insists, “I love you and I want you to live. I know it’s not ideal but I’m… I’m okay,” she says shakily, “this is just _us_ , it’s okay, it doesn’t feel... I’m okay, it’s just _us_ , I know you and you know me and _I trust you_ and we’ll be _fine_ ,” she insists, squeezing his strong shoulders. 

“But I need your help... I need you to help make it feel good so we both live,” she breathes. “I’m sure you can do that for me,” she finishes, managing a weak smile.

A hot tear falls from Remus’ cheek and rolls onto her forehead. 

Lily closes her eyes and kisses him. 

She fights back thoughts of James as she kisses Remus, because this has nothing to do with her husband anymore, except with her strong desire to see him again. This is survival, this is waiting for Sirius to rescue them, this is trying to save Remus’ life. This is trying to go home and see her son again.

She pours all of her emotions into the kiss, deepening it when Remus gasps in slight shock. And as she kisses him so ardently, she realises no Death Eater will ever manage to make her hate Remus. 

They have failed in breaking her.

Her will to survive and recover from this grows stronger and erupts like a volcano in her heart. 

A shiver runs through Remus, and after an endless moment of hesitation, he kisses her back, urgently, desperately. She feels his thrusts become a bit more powerful, and a new kind of energy is vibrating through him and into her very core, as if some sort of dam is now breaking.

This newfound and pure intimacy she and Remus are sharing feels unexpected but also surprisingly easy and extremely powerful. It’s their only weapon against the darkness forced upon them tonight. Lily’s hands wander to his back and she encourages him to thrust a bit harder with gentle hands on his hips.

She feels her body briefly resist against Remus’ increased rhythm when he obeys, and she tries to relax. He’s doing his best to save both of their lives, she can’t let him down now. She needs her mind to be _there_ , with Remus, she needs this connection between them in order to let go.

She buries her nose into his hair then, breathing him in, inhaling the sweaty but comfortable scent of him, letting her love for him fill her whole being. His skin is burning against hers but his weight is not crushing her; this wonderful man would do anything to make it less uncomfortable and painful for her. This wonderful man is her friend, a friend that she adores and who would give his life to save hers.

Her eyes focus on Remus’ face, his flushed cheeks, the frown on his forehead, his slightly parted full lips. There are amber flecks in his green eyes that seem to glow gold from this close as he stares down at her. Lily loses herself in their depths as she feels her body slowly ease into carnal sensibility and Remus' deep thrusts start to feel less intrusive and almost pleasurable. Lily needs to bask in this feeling in order to let go.

She takes one of Remus’ large hands and places it on her breasts because she needs some normalcy in the act, she needs the gentleness and warmth of his touch. He only hesitates for a second before his fingers graze her skin gently, almost reverently.

“Look at that, the Mudblood is liking it,” laughs Mulciber.

“Don’t think I won’t know if you fake it, Mudblood,” warns Jugson.

“Don’t listen to them, it’s just us,” says Lily immediately when she feels Remus tense and the fragile bubble they’ve managed to build quiver.

Remus nods in her neck and starts thrusting a bit harder while she locks one of her legs behind his back. The shift of angles sends an unexpected rush of pleasure through her and she immediately leans towards Remus’ lips in order to stay in the moment, in order not to flee her own pleasure. This time, he kisses her back without hesitation. This emotional connection they’ve managed to create is their only salvation and the physicality of their kiss strengthens it again.

“That feels... good… that… that feels good Remus, keep going,” she breathes against his lips.

Fortunately, Remus proves himself quite skilled at properly reading her body’s reactions, adjusting his rhythm and angle, and soon Lily is breathing loudly and letting out very soft sounds under the gentle assault of his hips, under the warmth of his hands on her. 

She vaguely considers slithering a hand between their bodies to speed up the process but she dismisses the idea, too afraid of ending things; she can’t know for sure Sirius will be on time and she secretly doubts Jugson will be completely true to his words of sparing Remus’ life. They need more time.

Plus, there’s no need for any extra help because Remus is getting her there quite efficiently on his own and Lily is shocked to realise that all she has to do is allow herself to welcome the pleasure he’s giving her. 

But with that knowledge, her last restraints finally crumble and before long, Lily is moaning softly into Remus’ ear. She can feel her orgasm building and it’s both a relief and a terrifying thought; that her body is so willing to do that for Remus and despite the present circumstances.

“Oh god, Remus…” she breathes.

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” he says softly, reassuringly, “just let go Lily, you can let go.”

The soft reassurance is everything Lily needs before her walls are fluttering around Remus’ shaft. Remus lets out a low groan at the feeling and starts thrusting a bit faster and Lily hears herself shamelessly moan her approval.

“Sweet Merlin, Lily… Let go, you can let go... let me make you come,” he breathes into her ear, voice hoarse and low. “Please, come for me.”

The world narrows as Lily clenches hard around Remus’ cock and her orgasm overtakes her. She gasps and pulses around Remus, her pleasure and relief sending her eyes rolling back into her skull. She barely hears Remus’ groans as he buries his nose in her neck. She lets the sheer physical bliss of her climax overtake her gratefully, welcoming it for as long as it lasts, using it as an intoxicating diversion from this terrifying night of fear and torture.

When Lily opens her eyes, she finds herself looking into green eyes that are darker and deeper than she has ever seen them. Suspended in time, Lily simply breathes hard and stares back, her mind blissfully blank and peaceful.

“Look at that,” chuckles Jugson gleefully, “the Mudblood _is_ a whore!”

Remus blinks and it feels like being torn away from a safe haven. Reality comes brutally crashing back into Lily and she closes her eyes, desperately trying not to let fear and despair invade her again.

Ignoring their audience, Remus places an incredibly gentle kiss on her lips and slowly pulls away. But before he can even slide his still hard member out of her, a silent spell hits him and Lily’s hopes shatter as Remus’ limp body collapses on top of her.

She gasps, helpless and terrified, as the loathed Jugson sends her a wink and chuckles. 

“Remus!” she cries, terrified to look at him and discover he might be dead.

_He can’t be dead. He just can’t._

After a short and terrifying pause, Remus stirs. But Lily’s relief has no time to register; blank eyes are staring down at her and she realises in horror what Jugson just did.

“No!”

Remus’ firm hands suddenly close around her wrists as he traps them over her head and immediately starts pounding into her hard and fast, his nearly animalistic grunts echoing loudly in Lily’s ears. 

She gasps and desperately calls his name, knowing it’s useless, knowing the _Imperius_ is dictating his behavior right now. 

She tries to push him away with all the force she can muster but it’s no use, Remus is too strong and she’s feeling breathless. Lily sobs and hangs on to him for dear life, as he fucks her hard into the table.

Her flesh is sensitive and she knows that at this pace, it will soon become unbearable.

“Remus, please, please fight this! Come back to me, _please_!” she begs, panting and crying under the relentless assault of his hips. 

Her words have no effect on Remus whatsoever. 

A particularly hard thrust sends pain radiating through Lily’s loins, and she gasps. “Stop Remus, oh God, _please_ stop!” she cries.

There’s a sudden bright light and through her tears, Lily sees a huge silver dog appear in the middle of the room. She hears surprised shouts followed by three loud “pop” and then it’s only her and Remus and the fading silver dog in the cabin. 

She struggles harder against Remus then, and he growls, his teeth grazing her throat menacingly. His grip on her wrists becomes firmer, painful and bruising. Remus’ low groans and the loud snap of his hips against her pelvis is all Lily can hear in between her sobs.

There’s a loud bang and suddenly Remus’ body is flying off her and across the room. 

Lily immediately sits up and watches as Sirius, eyes dark with a mixture of shock and revulsion, runs towards her.

“ _Sirius_!” she cries in relief, her voice sounding extremely high to her own ears. “Sirius, oh God, _Sirius_!”

He’s at her side the next second, shrugging his cloak off his shoulders and wrapping her with it. And then he’s hugging her and Lily immediately starts crying profusely against his chest.

“I’m here. Fuck, Lils, I’m sorry. Are you al- I’m here, Merlin. I’m so sorry! I’m here now!” he says shakily, sounding as shocked as she feels.

Lily hears a grunt from the floor and she watches, horrified, as Remus stands up. He’s limping and bleeding from his side and forehead but his state of arousal is obvious as he walks determinedly towards them, his eyes trained on her.

“Stay the fuck back, Remus!” roars Sirius, immediately on his feet, wand raised at the ready.

He’s looking at his friend with such hatred that Lily’s heart jumps in her chest and she immediately grabs the wand Sirius is pointing straight at Remus’ heart.

“ _Imperiused_ , he’s _imperiused_ , Sirius!” she yells, aiming Sirius’ wand at Remus.

Lily doesn’t spare a look at Sirius as the news hits him, her wandarm steadies and with a flash, she lifts the curse and Remus stumbles on his feet before collapsing to the floor, unconscious.

“Remus!”

Lily jumps off the table and hurries to his side, Sirius in her wake.

“Gods, Sirius, they… they tortured him! So many times! The _Cruciatus_... Slicing hexes… He needs a healer, help me get him to a healer!”

Sirius doesn’t move. 

He’s staring at Remus as if he’s never seen him before.

“Lily,” starts Sirius slowly, his voice sounding hollow, “he was-”

“He was _Imperiused_!” she interrupts harshly, glaring at Sirius for even daring to let his thoughts wander towards horrible conclusions about his friend.

“Moony. Fuck. Moony,” moans Sirius at last, and Lily is glad to finally hear concern in his voice.

“Get me my clothes Sirius, please,” she asks urgently, “his were vanished.”

She shrugs off Sirius’ cloak to put it around Remus, not sparing a second to think about her own nudity as Sirius comes back with her clothes and hastily covers as much of her as he can with her sweater.

“We need to get out of here,” says Sirius a bit urgently, slowly recovering from his shock and starting to think straight again.

“A healer, we need to get him to a healer,” says Lily, as she hastily gets dressed.

“Order’s Headquarters, Poppy’s there tonight,” nods Sirius quickly.

Lily feels the comforting strength of Sirius’ arm around her shoulder as he gently helps her up, placing his other hand on the unconscious Remus on the floor.

She leans into Sirius gladly, infinitely grateful to know he’ll keep her safe now and take charge. 

_It’s over. We have survived. Everything will be alright._

But for a split second, right before Sirius disapparates them all away, Lily catches her friend’s stormy-grey eyes and the deeply disturbed look in them, and she knows in her heart that tonight changed _everything_.


End file.
